It Is Whatever

2009.November.26.Thursday

We touched down in Jinan and people started gathering up their bits and bobs. I sat in my seat patiently. Suddenly from above my head a gentleman burped loudly allowing all the juicy burp particles to land heavily upon my meek self and poking-out lower lip. I turned to Lin with large sad eyes and said, “Welcome to China!” She burst out laughing. I asked if that is normal. She assured me that no this was not normal and we would soon be returning back to normality.

We gathered up our bits and bobs and made our way to the luggage carousel. As we arrived in the bagge reclaim area I saw all the Chinese folks waiting impatiently to greet their loved ones. I suddenly felt very nervous. Lin’s parents would be in that crowd and there’d be no Skype to protect me this time. As we passed the crowd I recognised at the end of the line Lin’s mum behind some protective glass, with her dad alongside her. Lin hadn’t seen them yet. I was surprised I recognised them so easily. I don’t think I have the ability to put into words how strange I felt at this point. All sorts of things were running through my head: first time in China; engaged to a Chinese girl; unable to speak Chinese; first time meeting Chinese parents – outside of the internet; they don’t speak english; they live here; we live there… the list goes on.”There’s yer ma and yer da!” I told Lin in my best english.

We all waved and smiled simultaneously. Lin and I made our way to the carousel. Lin asked if we could go over nad say hi. I was so nervous. I thought I’d better not go over there, say hi from behind some glass and then come back for the luggage which may or may not be there at that time. “Why don’t you go see your parents and I’ll get the bags?” Lin headed off and I waited patiently. Nervously.

Our bags were among the first to come out. I looked over at Lin, she was on the phone facing her parents. I picked up the bags. When I had the second one she was standing beside me smiling. “Were you on the phone to your parents?” “No I was speaking with my grandparents.” No going back now Cormac I reminded myself. Not that I wanted to. Here goes.

Lin’s parents greeted me very warmly. Lin did some very quick translations and I shook their hands saying “Ni hao!” That was about all the Chinese I could muster. We made our way towards the car. I pushed the trolly with Lin’s father holding the bags in place. It really wasn’t necessary for him to do that but I could tell that he was keen to show that he was out to help. I felt reassured. Lin’s mum and Lin walked at their own pace whilst I was trying hard to keep up with her dad. He kept saying directions to me with rotating hand signals to inform me exactly what he was onning about. It was bloody cold. We were at the car in no time. A Ford.

I pulled the bags off the trolley whilst he opened the boot. I saw an brand new acoustic guitar in a box lying there. Oh wow! Lin explained that they had bought it for me. I thanked them warmly, “Xiexie!” Into the car and then on the road.

Lin explained that we were going to a restaurant to celebrate her mum’s birthday. Oh yeah! That’s why we were going over there in the first place – amongst introducing myself to my new family-in-law. All the nervous excitement had made me forget all about the specialness of the day. The jetlag didn’t help either I suppose. I pulled out my Chinese book which I bought at Heathrow airport and wished her mum a happy birthday. She thanked me warmly.

I kept reading through the book. I came across a page which was dedicated to shopping:
“Duoshao qian.” - How much is that?
“Tài guì le”  - That’s too expensive.
I explained that this would be all the Chinese I would require. Lin translated and her parents laughed. I read more through the book and started learning quickly: don’t eat all at once and then stop – this is seen as rude; stop eating slowly; don’t worry about people keeping asking you to eat, they are being welcoming, not pushy; ignore burps and slurps. Ahaa!

I quickly recognised that there was a difference in style between driving in the UK and driving in China. Her father seemed to be beeping the horn at every other overtaking manoeuvre. Other cars were beeping their horn at him. upon quick inspection I noticed that her father wasn’t bothered at any of this horn-beeping. Cars were overtaking left, right and centre. Motorbikes were flying all over the place. Bicycles were weaving inbetween all of this. Crazy place.

A young man in a uniform saluted our car at the entrance to the driveway to the restaurant. When I asked Lin what that was all about she explained that it made the restuarant look posh. Really? OK. A smiling woman in a heavy coat opened the door and greeted me. Lin got out with her mum who grabbed the guitar from the boot. Her father headed off to get the grandparents. All three of us walked into the restaurant.

A vision of amazement. Tropical interior albeit quite freezing. It was only a few degrees warmer than it was outside. We walked for a good few minutes before we were at the room where we would be dining. It was much warmer in there. We left the guitar there and made our way to the food hall to order.

I wasn’t quite expecting the food hall to be what it was. Fully alive shrimp, lobsters, crabs all running about in their special tanks. Lin’s mum kept asking me what I wanted. I asked Lin to look after my order as I was all a bit overwhelmed. I just walked about taking everything in. There were things I’d never seen before. Vegetables and fruit I didn’t recognise. Even some underwater animals that looked like large penii, all wriggling and with no apparent eyes. We went back to the dining room.

In no time Lin’s father had arrived back with Lin’s mother’s parents and the grandfather’s sister. Lin warned me that her grandfather gets emotional and cries every day. We all greeted each other. No tears from the grandfather. Lin’s grandmother gave Lin a hug and then grabbed her hand. Then she curiously turned Lin’s arm over and then took a mock bite out of her wrist. We all laughed and then sat.

Lin’s father sat on his right and I sat on his left upon his command. (He seemed to be calling me Heylong – I wanted to tell him, actually my name is Cormac but I thought I’d be better leaving it for a while for now.) Lin sat beside me. I sat patiently looking to see what the order of service was going to be. Everyone seemed to wash their hands with a warm wet towel so I followed.

The drinks were poured. Lin’s father had a small glass filled to the brim with wine. A few others took a tiny amount of wine. Everyone else including Lin and I took tea. Her father stood up and lifted his wine glass, turned to me and started speaking. “He says that he is very happy to meet you.” Then we clicked drinks. I smiled and said I was happy to meet him and the rest of the family.

The food came in. I was waiting for the big plates to arrive but they never came. Everyone started taking the food from the central rotating table and popping them into the bowl. I’d been using chopsticks for about 10 years now so I was OK with them. Lin’s family said how well I was doing with them. Everyone kept saying warm things to me.

In the middle of the dinner all the waitresses came in and sang happy birthday in the usual melody in Chinese and then in English. They substitued the person’s name for “Happy birthday.” Very clever!

After they left Lin laughed and pointed out her grandfather saying “Look he’s crying.” Then everyone else started laughing. Then everyone else started crying, except Lin’s father, myself and Lin who got up and kissed all the relatives who were crying on both cheeks beginning with her grandfather. She went to sit down and I said “What about your father?” “He’s not crying!” “Kiss him anyway!” She kissed him and then sat down again and we all started talking and laughing again. That was a really lovely moment I thought amongst the many thoughts whirling around in my brain.

After a while Lin’s father stopped eating, stood up and raised his glass again. Lin explained that he would like to welcome me to China and hopes that I have a good time here. We clicked drinks and nodded smilingly. I asked Lin if it would be appropriate for me to make a toast. She agreed it would. I let everyone eat for a bit and then stood up. Everyone looked at me and I said that I would like to thank everyone for their warm welcome to China. I very much look forward to me time here. Everyone smiled and thanked me. Then we all clicked our drinks.

We finished eating and Lin’s father gathered up the grandparents and grandaunt and drove them back home. Lin’s mother requested I play a song on the guitar. As usual I didn’t know what to play so I played All The World Is Green and Edelweiss. Why not. We then went back to the house and I played a few songs getting Lin to sing as much as possible. She sang Edelweiss and The Way You Look Tonight. Everyone seemed really happy to hear make music.

We then went to bed. Lin explained that in China when you get engaged you get a certificate and that means that you are legally allowed to live together. We shared the same bedroom. We slept very well. The jetlag helped.